Finding deals
The Owner Meeting Script That Gets You Off-Market Deals
The exact owner meeting flow I use: small talk, verbal agenda, open-ended questions, and the one closing question that makes owners remember you.
This is part three of the sales, negotiating and marketing masterclass, and it's the part I care most about. The owner meeting is the meeting that has made me more relationships than anything else I do. It has bought me a lot of deals. And a couple of times, it has resulted in someone handing me their entire fifty-year life's work over a period of two to five years.
I usually teach this inside the mentorship. I put it together here because it works as a short video, and because most people have no idea what to actually say once they've booked the coffee.
I bought hundreds of rentals starting with no money because I had these skills. I've sold hundreds of millions of dollars in contract value: data, apparel, marketing packages, real estate. I own a $35 million portfolio, probably a little more than that today; I need to go back and recalculate. All of it came from sales and marketing. Learn these skills and you can do the exact same thing.
In part one we covered booking the call. In part two we covered tonality, body language and overall story arc. If you don't have those down yet, go watch part two first, because the words don't matter if you're saying them wrong. Once you're comfortable with how you sound, here's what you actually say.
Step One: Small Talk: And Do Not Bring Up the Weather
You sit down. You have a little bit of small talk. Humans like things.
Do not you dare bring up the weather. Seriously. "Oh, it's very nice weather today, it's so warm out, oh my gosh, can you believe how: " Nobody cares.
Say something intelligent that is non-weather related. "How's it going?" "I love this coffee shop, it's one of my favorite places to meet." "Fantastic day: the drive here was just wonderful, I was listening to this song I used to like." Say something non-weather related. That's small talk. That's what humans do.
If you dive straight into business, it's a huge turnoff for most people. Huge. It feels like you just have some agenda and you want something from them. Start with small talk.
Step Two: The Verbal Agenda
This was drilled into me when I was a CoStar rep, and I still use it almost every time.
The verbal agenda isn't you robotically listing the contents of the conversation. There's a show, The Big Bang Theory: you're not Sheldon. You're not coming in saying, "Well, this is exactly how everything works." Don't be a weirdo. That, by the way, is the theme of this entire thing. Don't be a freaking weirdo.
You loosely lay out why you're meeting. A recap. "Hey, thank you for meeting with me. This is really what I wanted to talk about today." And then you go back into your why.
Your why is the story arc you're going to weave through this entire meeting, and it ties directly into your final question. The intro is the same as the outro.
When I started, my why was that I wanted to retire my wife. She got injured at work as a school teacher, and we wanted to get her out of that job. I did eventually retire her: by telling the story of how I wanted to retire her. I was buying duplexes and trying to buy larger buildings. The owners I was meeting with had bigger buildings than me.
So the agenda sounds like this: You've done the thing that I want to do. I've spent the money I have available on duplexes, so I couldn't buy your buildings if I wanted to. This is not a sales call, and that should be very apparent to them very early. Here's what I'd like to learn. I want to learn a little about how you got started buying bigger properties. I want to learn some of the lessons you learned along the way. And most importantly, I really want to learn some of the mistakes you made going from A to B, because if I can avoid some of the pitfalls and learn from what you already did, I can build a similar business, it will probably cost me less than it costs other people, and that means a lot to me. I really appreciate your time.
Step Three: One Great Open-Ended Question, Then Shut Up
Now you go into story mode.
"When I drove past this building, I remember thinking, this probably makes a lot more than a duplex. And if I did a few transactions like this a year instead of ten duplexes (if I did two 25-unit buildings) I'm moving a whole lot faster. How does one go out and buy a building of this size? What did it look like for you?"
That's a great opening question, but the key is that it's open-ended. What did it look like for you?
Then shut up. Let them talk. Listen, and ask intelligent questions about the things they're actually saying.
They say, "Hey, I had partners." Oh: partners. How did that go for you? How many partners did you have? Was there one partner you worked with more than the others? Did you have one partnership that carried you through, or did you just work with a lot of people?
Ask open-ended questions. Let them tell their story. Many times people have taken me out in their truck after this meeting and driven me around their entire portfolio. That's a very common ending when you do this right.
Here's why it works. For the most part, owners' friends and families do not care about their business. Even if they're worth millions and millions of dollars, most people don't want to listen to their story. Someone who is ahead of you in real estate spent a lot of time building that business. When you sit down and actively listen, ask good questions, and actually care about what they're saying, you will end up buying a lot of real estate. Could be from them. Could be from their friends.
You're building resources. They have connections. They have properties. If they own a lot of real estate, they probably also have a lot of money. If they have resources you don't have, you're building a relationship. Just focus on that.
As I start to close, I like to ask for a couple of recommendations: "Hey, is there anyone else I need to be meeting with in town if I want to play in this market? This has been unbelievably helpful."
Step Four: The Closing Question, and Why It's Genius
I always close on one question. Remember, we opened on the story about my wife: yours will be different, but whatever your why is, you tie back to it. It's called an anchor. You set the anchor at the beginning of the call. Now you go back to it.
The question is: "Based on our conversation here today and the pieces that I have, what would you say is my next logical step if I want to buy a building like what you did?"
And then stop talking. Let them talk. Don't blather.
Here's what that question is doing. First, they have to think back to the beginning of the conversation. When you say "based on what I'm trying to do," they now have to think about what you're trying to do: they have to replay the entire conversation. When they leave that coffee shop, the anchor is set, and they're going to remember this conversation.
Movies and TV shows all put anchors at the beginning. It could be a theme song. It could be a moment. It could be an item the hero got from their father that returns at the end. They set anchors because you remember, and you have to think through the whole movie: oh my gosh, we started here and now we're back again. That's how the TV industry figured out it could get people to remember an entire film. You can do the same thing in your presentations.
Second, they have to apply their entire journey to you in one deliverable. You usually get a fantastic piece of advice out of it. But more importantly, you've solidified in their mind who you are and why it matters that you buy real estate: even though you never once said the words "buy" or "sell." They have now logged you as someone who is working hard to buy, and who it's really important gets a deal done. They remember the pieces you have: no money currently, a couple of duplexes. So their advice has to tailor to that.
You leave the meeting and they remember you as the person buying real estate in their market, who has a great goal, who they met with, and who, after that conversation, they probably really like.
What Actually Happens After These Meetings
Run it this way every time (small talk, verbal agenda, open-ended question, a few more specific closed-ended questions, ask for referrals, close on the final question, shake their hand, thank them) and here are the results.
A large portion of the time, they will find a deal they don't want to buy themselves. It could be too small for them. They might not be expanding anymore. Whatever it is, they know people who own real estate. Owners know owners. Most of the time they don't sell you one of their buildings: they refer you to someone. "Hey, I remember you said you're a little low on cash. I have a buddy, I can make a call for you. I think he can hold a contract. He might be interested in creative finance. I think this would be a good first deal for you." Now you have them on your team, and you could have a deal.
Sometimes they're still trying to expand, and I end up landing the deal. I'll call them and say, "I don't know how often you still partner, but this would be a deal where I'd really like to learn from your experience. I don't quite have all the capital to close this. Would you mind underwriting this deal with me?" Many times they'll do it. "Oh, this is a good deal. What if we partnered on it?" You can find capital this way. You can find deals this way.
And on occasion (this has happened to me twice) they sit you down and say, "Hey, I'm going to be retiring. I've really enjoyed meeting with you. What would it look like if over the next several years I seller financed my entire portfolio to you?"
Two people who built a real estate empire have asked me what it would look like if I were the buyer for the whole thing. You know why? Because I'm the only person who sat down and listened to how they built that empire. I'm the guy they've watched buy a whole bunch of buildings over the years. They like the way I do business, because I do business a heck of a lot like them, because I learned from them, during the coffee meetings.
Key Takeaways
- Order matters: small talk, verbal agenda, open-ended question, specific follow-ups, referral ask, closing question.
- Never open on the weather, and never open on business. Say something human and intelligent.
- The verbal agenda makes it obvious this is not a sales call, and plants your why as an anchor.
- Ask "what did it look like for you?" and then be quiet. Most owners have nobody who listens to their story.
- Close with "based on our conversation and the pieces I have, what's my next logical step?": it forces them to replay the whole meeting and cements you in their memory.
- The common outcomes are referrals, partnerships and capital. The rare outcome is inheriting someone's entire portfolio.
This isn't about walking in and asking what you can take from someone. It's what organically happens when you connect with people who have all the pieces you want. You learn from them, they enjoy their time with you, you add value where you can, but this is not a "here's something for you" conversation. You are genuinely asking for help building your business, and then you're applying what they told you. When you apply it and stay in communication, you become someone they appreciate and like, and they usually end up seeing themselves in you. That makes you the most obvious buyer for everything they ever built. They get to carry their legacy on through you.
If you think their kids will take it instead, I've met about three sellers whose kids had any interest in real estate. They saw how hard it was for their parents to build it. It usually doesn't survive many generations. It just usually doesn't.
If this happens four or five times in your career, you have four or five empires you've acquired while building your own. You could become absolutely titanic this way, and it cost you a cup of coffee and a couple of soft skills.
Related reading: Soft Skills That Close Real Estate Deals: Tone, Body Language, Anchors
Watch the full video above for the complete walkthrough, including the timestamps for each step of the meeting. If you want the deeper version of this, you can learn about my mentorship at mentorship overview. There's a free course on getting started in multifamily investing at multifamilystrategy.com/get-free-training. And we run a Facebook community where investors trade deals and questions if you want people to practice these conversations with.
Read the episode transcript
0:00 This has made me so many relationships. 0:01 It's bought me a lot of deals. And a 0:03 couple times, you can take someone's 0:04 entire 50-year life work and they will 0:06 transfer to you in a matter of two to 0:08 five years. But this is what organically 0:10 happens when you're connected with 0:11 people who have all the pieces that you 0:13 want. Welcome to part three of sales, 0:15 negotiating, marketing for real estate. 0:17 This is a master class. This is 0:19 something I usually share in the 0:20 mentorship, but I put this together in a 0:22 way that I think is just absolutely 0:23 perfect for a short video on YouTube. 0:25 We're on part three in the series, the 0:27 owner meeting. What do you actually say 0:29 in the owner meeting? In our last video, 0:30 if you haven't seen it, the link is 0:31 below. But in our last video, we talked 0:34 about tonality. We talked about body 0:36 language. We talked about overall story 0:38 arc. We're going to dive deeper into 0:39 that today. This stuff is the secret 0:41 sauce, though. Like, you want to have a 0:42 meeting where you're consistently 0:43 building meaningful relationships, 0:44 you're buying real estate, you're 0:46 getting momentum. You found the right 0:48 video. Congratulations. By the way, I 0:50 bought hundreds of rentals starting with 0:51 no money because I had these skills. 0:52 Sales and marketing is everything. I've 0:54 sold hundreds of millions of dollars in 0:56 contract value of data, of apparel, of 1:00 marketing packages, of real estate. I 1:02 own a $35 million portfolio. I think I a 1:04 little bit more than that now today. Um, 1:06 I need to go back and recalculate that. 1:08 I have bought a lot of real estate, 1:10 hundreds of units, starting with no 1:11 money with just these skills. Have you 1:14 learned these skills? You can do the 1:15 exact same thing. The owner meeting. So, 1:17 you've already booked the call, which 1:18 we've gone over in video one in this 1:20 series. Video two, we talked about, 1:22 okay, we have these soft skills, so we 1:24 have the right body language, the right 1:25 tonality, people are engaged, people 1:26 generally like us. How do we actually 1:29 tell the story and what is the actual 1:30 conversation flow? Now, if you don't 1:33 know how to say the words or present, go 1:36 to the prior video, give that a watch 1:38 first, then dive right back into here. 1:40 Once you're comfortable with how you're 1:42 saying it and how you're 1:44 presenting, what do you actually say? 1:46 It's important to follow that order 1:47 because if you're just saying the words 1:48 and you're not saying them right, 1:51 doesn't matter. Once you get that tone 1:53 down, all 1:54 right, number one, we sit down, have 1:57 just a little bit of small talk. Humans 2:00 like things do not you dare bring up the 2:03 weather. Seriously, people did, oh, it's 2:05 very nice weather today. It's so warm 2:07 out. Oh my gosh, can you believe how 2:09 Nobody cares. Say something intelligent 2:12 that is non weather related. How's it 2:14 going? Oh, I love this coffee shop. This 2:16 is one of my favorite places to meet. 2:18 Oh, fantastic day. The drive here was 2:21 just wonderful. I was listening to the 2:23 song that I used to like say something 2:26 non-weather related that is small talk 2:28 that is something that humans do if you 2:30 just dive right into business. Huge 2:32 turnoff for most people. Huge turn off. 2:34 It feels like you just have some agenda 2:35 and you want something for them. Start 2:37 with small talk. Next, verbal agenda. 2:40 This was drilled into me when I was a 2:42 co-star rep and I use it almost every 2:44 time. What does the verbal agenda do? 2:46 You are not just listing out here's what 2:48 our conversation is going to be. Uh 2:50 there's a a show Big Bang Theory. It's 2:52 you're not Sheldon. You're not coming in 2:53 here saying, "Oh, well, this is exactly 2:55 how everything works." Don't be a 2:57 weirdo, which is, by the way, that's 2:59 going to be a theme to this whole thing. 3:00 Don't be a freaking weirdo. You're 3:02 diving in verbal agenda. Loosely lay out 3:06 why you meet, like recap. Hey, thank you 3:09 for meeting with me. This is really what 3:11 I wanted to talk about today. And then 3:13 you go back into your why. This is the 3:15 story arc that you're going to weave 3:16 through this entire thing is also going 3:17 to tie into your final question. The 3:19 intro is the same as the outro. Uh when 3:22 I started the example we're using here, 3:24 I wanted to retire my wife. Eventually, 3:26 I did this, by the way, by telling the 3:27 story of how I wanted to retire my wife. 3:29 I eventually did retire my wife. I want 3:31 to retire my wife. She got injured at 3:33 work as a school teacher. We wanted to 3:34 get her out of that job. I was buying 3:36 duplexes. I'm trying to buy larger 3:38 buildings. In this case, the owners I'm 3:41 meeting with have larger buildings than 3:42 me. Essentially, you've done the thing 3:44 that I want to do. I've spent the money 3:46 that I have available on the duplexes, 3:48 so I couldn't buy your buildings if I 3:49 wanted to. Uh, this is not a sales call, 3:52 and that should be very apparent to them 3:53 very early. Here's what I would like to 3:55 learn. I want to learn a little bit 3:57 about how you got started buying bigger 3:58 properties. I want to learn some of the 4:00 some of the lessons that you learned 4:02 along the way. Uh, most importantly, I 4:04 really want to learn some of the 4:05 mistakes that you went 4:07 through going from A to B because I feel 4:09 that if I can avoid some of the 4:10 pitfalls, I can learn from what you 4:12 already did, I can build a similar 4:15 business and it will probably cost me 4:18 less than other people and that means a 4:19 lot to me. I really appreciate your 4:21 time. Uh, first when I drove past this 4:24 building, the one that I originally told 4:27 them 4:28 about, and now you get in destroy mode, 4:30 I remember 4:32 thinking this probably makes a lot more 4:34 than a duplex. And if I did a few 4:36 transactions like this a year instead of 4:38 10 duplexes, if I did like two 25 unit 4:40 buildings, I'm moving a whole lot 4:43 faster. How does one go out and buy a 4:46 building of this size? What did it look 4:48 like for you? Great opening question, 4:50 but it has to be 4:51 open-ended. What did it look like for 4:54 you? Then shut up and let them talk and 4:57 listen and ask intelligent questions 4:59 about the things that they're saying. 5:01 They say, "Hey, I had 5:02 partners." Oh, partners. How did that go 5:05 for you? How many partners did you have? 5:08 Was there one partner that you partnered 5:10 with more than others? Like, did you 5:11 have one partnership that carried you 5:12 through, or did you just work with a lot 5:14 of people? Ask open-ended questions. Let 5:17 them tell their story. Uh many times 5:19 people have actually taken me in their 5:20 truck after this meeting and drove me 5:22 around their portfolio. Very common 5:24 ending to this if you do this 5:26 right, but actually talk to them about 5:28 them. For the most part, owners, 5:31 friends, and families do not care about 5:33 their business. Even if they're worth 5:35 millions and millions of dollars, most 5:37 people do not want to listen to their 5:38 story. When you sit down, you actually 5:40 watch to learn. They've built a really 5:42 cool business. They've spent a lot of 5:44 time on this. someone who's ahead of you 5:46 in real estate, they spent a lot of time 5:48 on their business. When you sit down and 5:50 you actually actively listen to them, 5:52 ask good questions, actually care about 5:54 what it is they're saying, you will end 5:56 up buying a lot of real estate. Could be 5:58 from them, could be from other friends. 6:01 You're building resources. They have 6:03 connections. They have properties. If 6:05 they own a lot of real estate, they 6:06 probably also have a lot of money. If 6:08 they have resources that you don't have, 6:09 you're building a relationship. Just 6:11 focus on that. Ask great questions. I 6:14 like to ask for a couple 6:16 recommendations as we're starting to 6:17 close like, "Hey, is there anyone else 6:19 that I need to be meeting with in town? 6:20 If I want to play in this market, this 6:22 has been unbelievably helpful. I always 6:25 close on this one question, though. 6:28 Remember why we open on the story of my 6:29 wife, and it will be different for you, 6:31 but it's whatever your story is, 6:33 whatever the why is buying your real 6:34 estate, you tie back to 6:37 that. It's called an anchor. You set 6:40 that anchor in the beginning of this 6:41 call. Now, we're going to go back to it. 6:44 I'm going to ask them this question. 6:45 This is a I'll explain the psychology of 6:47 this because this is 6:48 genius. You go through and that final 6:51 question is, okay, based on our 6:53 conversation here today and the pieces 6:55 that I have, what would you say is my 6:58 next logical step if I want to buy a 7:01 building like what you 7:03 did? And then stop talking. Let them 7:06 talk. Don't 7:08 blather. Here's what that question is 7:10 doing. one, they have to think back to 7:12 the beginning of the conversation. When 7:13 you say, "Hey, based on what I'm trying 7:15 to do," they now have to think about 7:16 what you're trying to do. They have to 7:17 replay the entire conversation. Now, 7:19 when they leave the coffee shop, they 7:21 have set an anchor. They're going to 7:22 remember this conversation. Movies and 7:25 TV shows all have anchors in the 7:26 beginning of it. It could be a theme 7:28 song. It could be a moment. It could be 7:30 a item that the the hero got from their 7:33 father that has now returned to them at 7:34 the end. whatever it is, they set 7:37 anchors because you remember and have to 7:39 think through the entire movie of, "Oh 7:41 my gosh, we started here and now we're 7:43 back again." That is how the television 7:47 uh the the TV 7:49 industry has found they can attract 7:51 people and get them to remember all of 7:53 the movie. You can do the same thing in 7:55 your presentations. Hey, based on what I 7:58 am trying to do, based on my goal, and I 8:01 have to go, what was that goal? Oh, 8:02 yeah, that's right. How would you apply 8:03 that? Now they have to apply the entire 8:05 conversation and their entire journey to 8:07 you in one deliverable. Not only do you 8:09 usually get a fantastic piece of advice, 8:11 but what you've done is you've 8:12 solidified in their mind this is who is 8:14 who I'm meeting with, why it's important 8:16 that they buy real estate, even though I 8:18 never mentioned the word buy or sell 8:19 real estate. I now have logged you in my 8:21 head is this is someone who's really 8:23 working hard to buy and it's really 8:24 important that they do buy a deal. I 8:26 remember the pieces that I have that I 8:28 have to apply here. I have no money 8:30 currently. I have a couple of duplexes. 8:33 So my advice has to tailor to that. But 8:34 most importantly, we leave the meeting. 8:36 They remember me as the person who is 8:38 buying real estate in their market, who 8:40 has a great goal, who they met with, and 8:42 who they probably after this 8:44 conversation really 8:45 like. That's how you run pretty much 8:48 perfect meeting. Small talk, verbal 8:50 agenda, open-ended question. You get 8:51 some more specific closed-ended 8:52 questions. As you start wrapping up, I 8:54 ask them for other references. And then 8:56 I end on, hey, based on everything we 8:57 talked about today, but based on your 8:59 journey and what my goal is, what is my 9:02 next logical step in building the 9:04 business that you built? And then end 9:05 the meeting, shake their hand, thank 9:07 them. Tada. You have mastered the owner 9:09 meeting. If you do this this way every 9:11 time, here are the 9:13 results. A large portion of the time, 9:15 they will find a deal that they are not 9:17 wanting to buy. It could be too small 9:18 for them. It could be that they're no 9:19 longer expanding. Whatever it is, they 9:21 know people who own real estate. Owners 9:23 know owners. Most of the time they don't 9:26 sell you one of their buildings. Usually 9:27 they refer you to someone. They go, 9:28 "Hey, I remember you said you're a 9:29 little low on cash. I have a buddy. I 9:32 can make a call for you. I think he can 9:33 hold a contract. They could be 9:36 interested in creative finance. I think 9:37 this would be a good first deal for 9:38 you." Now, you have them on your team. 9:40 You could have a deal. This has happened 9:42 to me a couple times where they are 9:44 trying to expand and I end up landing 9:46 the deal. And I call them, I go, I I 9:48 don't know how often you still partner. 9:51 This would be a deal where I would 9:52 really like to learn from your 9:53 experience. I don't quite have all the 9:55 capital to close this. Would you mind 9:57 underwriting this deal with me? And many 10:00 times they will do that. They're like, 10:01 "Oh, this is a good deal. What if we 10:03 partnered on it?" You can find capital 10:05 this way. You can find deals this way. 10:07 And on occasion, this happened two times 10:08 to me. They sit you down. They go, "Hey, 10:12 I'm going to be 10:13 retiring. I really have enjoyed meeting 10:15 with you. If you're interested, what 10:18 would it look like if over the next 10:19 several years I sell finance my entire 10:21 entire portfolio to you?" I have had two 10:23 people who have built a real estate 10:25 empire say, "What would it look like if 10:26 you were the buyer for my entire 10:28 empire?" You know why? Because I'm the 10:30 only person who sat down and listened to 10:31 how they built their darn empire. I'm 10:33 the guy who they've watched over the 10:35 years buy a whole bunch of 10:37 buildings. They like the way I do 10:39 business because guess what? I do 10:40 business a heck of a lot like them 10:41 because guess who I learned from them. 10:43 During the coffee meetings, this has 10:45 made me so many relationships. has 10:47 bought me a lot of deals and a couple 10:48 times you can take someone's entire 10:50 50-year life work and they will transfer 10:51 it to you in a matter of two to five 10:53 years and that is available and possible 10:56 and it's not that you're going after 10:57 these being like oh what can I take from 10:58 this guy but this is what organically 11:00 happens when you're connected with 11:02 people who have all the pieces that you 11:03 want you learn from them they enjoy 11:05 their time with you sure add value where 11:08 you can but this is not a hey I'm giving 11:10 you something conversation you're 11:12 reaching out and truly asking them for 11:14 help building your business and then 11:15 you're applying that knowledge when you 11:16 apply that knowledge and you stay in 11:17 communication with them, you just become 11:19 someone who they appreciate, like, and 11:21 they usually end up seeing themselves in 11:22 you, which makes you the most obvious 11:25 buyer for literally everything that they 11:26 ever built. They can carry on their 11:28 legacy through you. By the way, if you 11:30 think that they're trying to do that, 11:32 oh, like, oh, I'll pass it on to my 11:33 kids. Uh, I have met like three sellers 11:36 whose kids had any interest in real 11:37 estate. They saw how hard it was for 11:38 their parents to build it. It usually 11:41 doesn't go through a whole lot of 11:42 generations. It just usually doesn't. If 11:45 you can be that person who resonates 11:47 with them, who's connected with them on 11:50 occasion, you can take someone's life 11:52 work and can move to you. Now, if it 11:54 happens four or five times in your 11:56 career, you just have four or five 11:58 empires that you've acquired while 11:59 building your own. You could become 12:01 absolutely Titanic this way and it cost 12:03 you a cup of coffee and a couple of soft 12:05 skills. Hope this helps. See you on the 12:08 next
Put these ideas to work.
Get support from Christian and the coaching team with your next multifamily deal. See how the mentorship works or start your application.
Apply Now
